7 hours ago 3: 03 pm 18 May 2013
67554) I’m spending all my effort telling my friend how important it is that she eats, and how she isn’t fat at all, and how when I had a bit of an ED it was the most horrible experience ever… But she doesn’t know that I still think I’m ridiculously fat, and eat the bare minimum a day to stop people getting suspicious, which turns out isn’t very much.
8 hours ago 2: 35 pm 18 May 2013
67553) The thing is, I’m perfectly content with what’s happening to me and while I should be terrified of this, I feel nothing.
8 hours ago 2: 07 pm 18 May 2013
67552) Today I saw a book/notebook called ‘my food diary’ on a book magazine and basing on the name and the picture I supposed it was a notebook designed to help you control what to eat and how much you exercise… It was actually just a simple recipe notebook.
9 hours ago 1: 39 pm 18 May 2013
67551) Jokingly, my boyfriend told me to become bulimic. That made me consider starving myself and have before. He really has no idea how bad I feel and how insecure I am about my self.
9 hours ago 1: 10 pm 18 May 2013
67550) Today my mom was really angry at me, because I ate the last few cookies. She said, “Did you eat them all?!” And I did, so I said so. Then she said: “And then, vomit it?!” “No, ieuw,” I answered. And later she said: “Fine be fat like me!” I felt so bad, I did want to vomit, but then she would hear it. It’s all because of my cousin. Her parents found out and now my mom thinks I also have an ED, and she is just so mean about it. I hate her.
10 hours ago 12: 42 pm 18 May 2013
67549) I am laughing hysterically because I finally realised why my “normal” friends keep saying they’re hungry and can’t wait for dinner. Normal people don’t stuff themselves all day! Normal people wait for their family to eat together! Normal people aren’t afraid to talk about how they are starving because someone might suspect they have an ED. Normal people eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Maybe with snacks in-between. I want to cry because I’m so far from being normal.
10 hours ago 12: 14 pm 18 May 2013
67548) I just hate myself so much that I feel like I can hardly breathe.
11 hours ago 11: 46 am 18 May 2013
67547) I am so horrible when I throw away the food I take to school because my mom always tries to make it as healthy and tasty as possible and we’re also very short on money. I hate throwing away food.67547) I am so horrible when I throw away the food I take to school because my mom always tries to make it as healthy and tasty as possible and we’re also very short on money. I hate throwing away food.
11 hours ago 11: 17 am 18 May 2013
67546) Today in class, we were doing philosophy questions and the first one asked, “what is the first thing you think about being able to do when you wake up?” I wanted to cry answering that. Real answer? Being skinny enough so I don’t have to worry bout weighing myself every morning & being dissatisfied with the results.
11 hours ago 10: 49 am 18 May 2013
67545) So I eat a lot. Through my depression years I’ve gained like x pounds. Does eating too much count as an eating disorder? I eat all the time. No matter how I’m feeling. I’m not even hungry and I’m eating.
12 hours ago 10: 21 am 18 May 2013
67544) I try to tell myself eating is good and that I don’t want to have an ED, but then I have to ask myself, do I already have one?
12 hours ago 9: 53 am 18 May 2013
67543) feeling like bingeing and purging is the only thing I’m good at.
13 hours ago 9: 25 am 18 May 2013
67542) I’m afraid to tell my mum about my purging. I can hear her now. “Why eat then if you are wasting it?” Joke’s on you mum, I’m not eating half the time either.
13 hours ago 9: 20 am 18 May 2013
67541) I binged on McDonald’s and when I was purging in the bathroom a mother and her little daughter came in and I couldn’t stop. I will never forgive myself.
13 hours ago 9: 14 am 18 May 2013
67540) I can’t believe no one has ever told me what an embarrassment I am. I’ve always kind of hated myself, but not as much as last night, when I realized that my friends had all been lying to me out of pity, to make me feel better. I was never thin. I was never good enough for them. Part of me knows this is my disorder talking but I am too shattered to fight it now.