1 year ago 11: 38 am 06 December 2011

34466) Just eat.

 Just do it. Doesn’t matter what it is. Just stuff your mouth until you’re choking. Just take the contents of the fridge, of the pantry and shove it down your throat. It doesn’t matter. Just eat. Just eat until it hurts. Until you can’t even breathe. Until you feel the food rising in the back of your esophagus, until your stomach has stretches to twice its capacity. That’s a binge. And then puke. You’ll have to. Your body won’t be able to take all that. And when you can’t puke anymore stick your fingers down your throat and make yourself puke. Because no matter how much you eat it will never fill you, because you trained yourself not to feel and now you can’t get it back so this is what you’re stuck with. Because all that food will make you fat and that’s something we can’t ever have. So filled with shame and regret, rip apart you esophagus and ruin your teeth and fuck up your stomach lining. Again and again and again. Till you’re crying and your throat is all but closed up and you can’t even hardly breathe. Puke until you feel normal again. That’s purging.

And that’s bulimia

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